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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24738127">The Medic Could Have Done Better</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolpointsetta/pseuds/coolpointsetta'>coolpointsetta</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Transformers Prime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Gore, Character Death, Everyone Needs A Hug, Flashbacks, I torture them because I love them, Mentions of War, Minor Character Death, Optimus is a good friend, Pharma is a little bit of a bitch, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ratchet deserves a break, Ratchet needs a hug, Violence, a good dad friend, inferences to self loathing, proof that Ratchet has a spark, there are relationships but they're not super relevant to the story</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:40:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,541</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24738127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolpointsetta/pseuds/coolpointsetta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The past has a horrible, terrible way of sneaking up on you, even when you thought you were past it. Ratchet can hide his pain very well during the day, but he can't help what he sees at night</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bulkhead/Wheeljack (Transformers), Optimus &amp; Ratchet, hinted relationships - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Medic Could Have Done Better</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi everyone! This fic is a little similar to the first one I wrote with Bumblebee's nightmares but not exactly the same. I might make these two a series but I'm not quite sure yet. I just made this because Ratchet deserves all the love in the world and someone to tell him he's okay. Enjoy!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Kei-ash? Kieashe? Kia-ash." </p>
<p>	"You can do it Raf, come on now. <i>Keiashe</i>." </p>
<p>	"Keiashe?" </p>
<p>	"There you go! Now write it down and say it five more times in a sentence." </p>
<p>	"What does this word mean again?" </p>
<p>	"Keiashe means 'thank you', Raf." </p>
<p>	"<i>Keiashe</i>." </p>
<p>	"That's right." Ratchet smiled, turning his attention back to his tools and what he had been working on. </p>
<p>	Following the war's end and Cybertron's restoration following the successful use of the Omega Lock, Ratchet, as well as the rest of Team Prime had returned to Cybertron to help the planet recover and rebuild after its devastating civil war. </p>
<p>	Ratchet had taken up his old profession as a medic in Cybertron's finest hospital, with Wheeljack working two floors below him as an engineer. Ratchet knew Wheeljack was going back to his roots since every few days there would be a loud noise coming from two floors below, followed by some smoke that billowed up the vents before the building's new systems would put out the fire on Wheeljack's floor. </p>
<p>	Bulkhead went back into construction and interior design, becoming the best on Cybertron. He had been the one who designed the building Ratchet and Wheeljack worked in, including the immediate fire extinguishing systems. </p>
<p>	Arcee and Smokescreen, now a couple, went into the Elite Guard Training Academy to train the next round of the Elite Guard. Ultra Magnus became an instructor at the same institution, helping to train both Arcee and Smokescreen as well as the future generations of the new and improved Elite Guard. </p>
<p>	Optimus went into the new Council that was being organized, Bumblebee by his side, but he always talked about stepping down when more the capable bots arrived on Cybertron. </p>
<p>	Their human friends remained on Earth but they still visited every now and then. In the time between the Autobots leaving and now, they had grown up. They had all graduated high school - even Miko, to Ratchet's pretend surprise - and went onto college. </p>
<p>	Jack returned to Jasper to work with Fowler for the government, working as a communications liaison to Cybertron. </p>
<p>	Miko went home to Tokyo to finish her high school there, before she got dual citizenship for America. She then came back to live in Nevada, working alongside Jack and Fowler. </p>
<p>	Raf had returned to college to become a doctor - he was almost finished with his residency now - where he also planned to work with the others once he finished his studies. He would be both the youngest doctor and the youngest agent the government currently had, given he was twelve and a half when he was a freshman in high school. </p>
<p>	Ratchet was currently teaching him Cybertronian through their experimental long distance face time call they had developed, which they had been using for the past few years. </p>
<p>	"Okay, what about the next word?" Ratchet asked, this time not looking up from his tools. He was currently working on something basic, a new triage shield he hoped would help medics work more effectively in the field without the added pressure of being shot at while they preformed very delicate calibrations and surgeries. </p>
<p>	Wheeljack, of course, had offered to help, but as Ratchet heard a loud boom and the floor beneath him shook slightly, he was reminded why he didn't let Wheeljack help.  </p>
<p>	"Was that Wheeljack again?" Raf asked, looking up from his papers. </p>
<p>	Ratchet sighed. "Who else would it be?" He gave a huff as he heard sounds of rapid apology and screaming. He would have to talk to Bulkhead about the isolation and sound proofing in this place, all things considered it was pretty crappy compared to the rest of the updated, polished building. </p>
<p>	Raf let out a chuckle, his laugh still the same as it was when he was young. "Shouldn't he be more focused on his safety now that the war's over and he doesn't have to worry about being shot at all the time?" </p>
<p>	Ratchet gave him a raised optic ridge in response. "Wheeljack was one of the most rash and brave mechs I've ever known both before and during the War, I doubt he will start to care about his safety now." Ratchet replied before turning to look down at his work, but his spark froze.</p>
<p>	'No.' He thought to himself. 'No, no no.'  </p>
<p>	The small box he had formerly been welding was now replaced by the mutilated body of a mech, energon leaking out of multiple wounds and staining the white surface of the table beneath him. He was laid out across Ratchet's table as if he'd always been there; all of Ratchet's other tools where mysteriously gone. </p>
<p>	His optics were twisted shut in pain, his mouth open in a silent scream or maybe it was a cry for help, Ratchet couldn't be sure. His purple and white armor was broken and torn in multiple places; there was more damaged then undamaged pieces. The mech was missing one leg, and his remaining leg and left arm were torn to ribbons, wires spilling out of them and sparks flying. </p>
<p>Energon was beginning to pool in massive puddles underneath them, dribbling off the side of the table he was laying on and splashing onto Ratchet's pedes. </p>
<p>	Ratchet recongized the mech, and why he was here: Mooncharger, he had been on guard duty with a few others in front of the Well of All Sparks before the Decepticons attacked, raining down on the small Autobot battalion with everything they had. </p>
<p>	Mooncharger had managed to sound the alarm before Skywarp and Thundercracker had gotten to him, beating him and shooting him to an inch of his life before leaving him for scrap. </p>
<p>	"Ratchet…" Mooncharger pleaded, energon leaking out of the side of his mouth even as he spoke. "Please, kill me…" </p>
<p>	Ratchet felt his spark pounding in his chest and everything seemed to spin around him. Memories and voices flashed in the medic's mind of mechs literally <i>begging</i> for death because their pain was so awful; death was a better alternative than trying to fight for their lives. </p>
<p>Ratchet heard the desperate cries of friends and spark mates trying to save their loved ones echo in his brain, screaming at Ratchet to save them, to do <i>something</i>. </p>
<p>	Ratchet's spark jerked painfully as he remembered just why those mechs died. </p>
<p>	'I couldn't save them…I couldn't save them.' Ratchet ducked forward to grab the medical tools that were now there, shifting one hand to a welder to begin his work. Mooncharger screamed as Ratchet began on a large wound on his side. </p>
<p>	"Mooncharger, don't ask me to do that, you can't give up on me -" A loud crash sounded around Ratchet and he half hoped it would be another explosion from Wheeljack to knock him out of this living nightmare, but when he turned, he saw he was no longer in his new medical bay. </p>
<p>	He was back on the battlefield, the darkened sky of a damaged Cybertron now overhead, the stars hidden by the blackened clouds of smoke from the numerous fires and the half-destroyed towers of formerly glorious buildings. </p>
<p>	Ratchet could make out the outlines of the Well of All Sparks a few thousand meters in front of them, the Decepticons and Autobots engaging in a terrible fight. Mechs and femmes around him were screaming and yelling as loud as they could just to be heard over the sound of gunfire and explosions raging over it all. </p>
<p>It was a dark, horrific song. </p>
<p>	"Mooncharger, stay with me -" Ratchet turned away from the fighting, forcing himself to focus on his patient, but when he turned back, Mooncharger was gone, replaced by a ground covered in drying energon. </p>
<p>	"Mooncharger, where -!" Ratchet whirled and tried to find the mech; he couldn't have gotten far, not with his injuries. </p>
<p>	"Ratchet! We got a survivor!" </p>
<p>	Ratchet turned at the call of his name, and when he turned fully, he noticed he was no longer at the Well of All Sparks, but in a triage facility he recongized as being the one under Tyger Pax, hidden from most Decepticon spies. </p>
<p>	Ratchet felt sick and his tanks spun as the bright white walls blurred into his vision, causing everything to blend together momentarily. Ratchet blinked and eventually the room stopped spinning, and he could make out the shapes of mechs and femmes in front of him. </p>
<p>	Pharma, his mentor was trying to force a thrashing patient down. The mech was screaming as a shard of metal was ripped it out of his leg. First Aid didn't look up at him as he was busy welding a femme's wound shut, and beside him, Minerva was helping to haul in supplies before she was called away to perform another surgery. </p>
<p>	Ratchet flinched as Pharma's patient let out another scream but he moved on, his optics falling on Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, the twins rushing in with a mech in their arms. </p>
<p>	"He was the only one we could find in the rubble," they said at the same time before they dashed out of the medical facility to try and find more survivors. </p>
<p>	Ratchet barely registered they were even there. </p>
<p>	'No, no no not this one.' Ratchet stared blankly at the mech placed they had placed in front of him, and Ratchet felt tears spring to his optics as he took in the wounds. </p>
<p>	The mech was in awful condition, his plating chipped and dented and bleeding everywhere, his optics barely online. One door wing was crumbled to the point of being unrecognizable, and the other was missing altogether. His throat had been torn open and a part was clearly missing, and Ratchet didn't have to ask the twins what had happened. </p>
<p>	Like Mooncharger, he remembered this vividly. </p>
<p>	Bumblebee losing his voice box, laying on his table, alive by pure will alone, was an image he would never forget. </p>
<p>	Ratchet set to work immediently, sitting down beside Bumblebee's berth and began working to seal the wound while he worked separately on a substitute voice box to replace the missing one with. Someone - Ratchet didn't know who - had offered to help, but Ratchet turned them away and demanded they work somewhere else; he didn't need them, he could do this. </p>
<p>	He could save Bumblebee, and he would. </p>
<p>	Ratchet knew what he had done before, taking pieces of his own armor to save the small hunk of a voicebox he was trying to build. Ratchet wiped a tear from his optic and kept working, his servos barely able to keep up with the demands of his brain. </p>
<p>Slowly but surely, Bumblebee's condition began to stabilize, just as it had done when Ratchet had done it the first time. </p>
<p>	"Ratchet, you cannot save him. Let him die, there are other patients who <i>will</i> survive who need your attention." The rough, deep sound of Pharma's voice cut through Ratchet's concentration. </p>
<p>Ratchet didn't turn back to look at his mentor, knowing all he would see would be disappointment and a servo that would be gesturing to the other mechs in the medical bay. </p>
<p>	"I'm not letting him die, Pharma. Not while there's still a chance he'll live." </p>
<p>	"Are you <i>really</i> going to bring Bumblebee back just so he can live with a barely functioning voice box? Do you really think he'll thank you for that?" Pharma demanded, a rough servo grabbing Ratchet on the shoulder and forcing him to turn and look him in the optic. "Let him die, Ratchet." </p>
<p>	Ratchet had always been terrified of Pharma, and for good reason. Pharma was a good mech and a great surgeon, performing surgeries that other medics would never dream of being good enough to conduct. </p>
<p>But Pharma's problem was there was no gray area to being a medic: it was all black and white. There was no "try to save him even if they might not make it" or when a Decepticon turned Autobot ended up on Pharma's table in desperate need of help; Pharma had refused because he couldn't see the mech before him was trying to be good. </p>
<p>	Pharma would chain mechs to their berths to stop them from trying to kill themselves instead of finding an alternative like sedating them or trying to talk them out of it like a sane mech. The memories of those nights haunted Ratchet to this day. </p>
<p>	Pharma was proud, good at what he did, and a borderline sociopath. </p>
<p>	He scared Ratchet more than he cared to admit. </p>
<p>	Ratchet narrowed his optics, feeling his spark still hammering in his chest at what he was about to say. </p>
<p>	"Bumblebee will be happy to be alive and continue the fight. He doesn't need to thank me." He turned away even as Pharma tried to argue, but felt his spark fall when he saw his living nightmare had changed once again. </p>
<p>	Bumblebee was gone, the energon that had stained his servos was gone too. The medical bay was no longer closing in around him, the brightness of the white walls being gone gave his optics a break. </p>
<p>	But not for long. </p>
<p>Ratchet felt his plating heating up as if he was on fire or surrounded by it. Smoke was rising into his intake and causing him to cough madly, his optics watering. </p>
<p>	Ratchet nearly screamed and almost fell back onto his aft when he saw where he was: their first base after the Decepticons had blown it to the ground. Ratchet had never seen the damage of it, but he was suddenly glad he never went back. </p>
<p>	The base was absolutely demolished, flames and smoke rising above it and billowing into the wind and sky, directing Ratchet's optics to the Decepticon war ship the <i>Nemesis</i> above him. Ratchet looked down and saw he was standing on top of the Autobot insignia that had once proudly sat on the floor, but now it was the only thing not damaged by the wreckage. </p>
<p>	Ratchet felt his spark twist painfully in his chest and any hope of this scene being any different than the others vanished instantly when his optics fell onto the familiar form of Ultra Magnus. </p>
<p>	The second in command was sprawled out in the open by what used to be the ground bridge controls, the Forge of Silas Prime still on his back, causing him to lay at an awkward angle. His formerly missing right servo had returned as it had never been crushed in the first place, but it was mangled and crushed nonetheless. </p>
<p>	Ratchet ran over and knelt by his side, trying to ignore the fact that Ultra Magnus's optics were dark and his plating was grayer than Ratchet remembered. </p>
<p>	"Doc…" Ratchet turned at his nickname and dashed over, trying to find who had spoken. </p>
<p>	"Who's there?!" Ratchet called out, looking around madly. </p>
<p>	"Here…" Ratchet turned as the voice grew quieter and he felt a sob almost escape his throat. </p>
<p>	Crushed beneath fallen rubble was Bulkhead, lying on his side and part of the ceiling caved in above him. He was burned badly, especially his right shoulder where it met the hot metal. Ratchet noticed his legs were stuck farther back behind more rubble, and Ratchet had a sinking feeling they were literally flattened. </p>
<p>	Tucked into Bulkhead's chest was Wheeljack, his form still and unmoving. Ratchet could make out the tops of the children's heads, tucked into his arms. They were all still, their eyes closed, but he couldn't hear a heart beat or breathing over the sound of the flickering flames around him. </p>
<p>	"Get him…out.." Bulkhead pleaded as he groaned. His optics flickered, threatening to go offline any second. Ratchet didn't argue, grabbing onto Wheeljack's shoulders and pulling as hard as he could. Wheeljack slipped out easily, the children staying in his arms. When Ratchet turned him over, he had to look away and quickly blink the tears back. </p>
<p>	The place where Wheeljack's spark should have been was burned out, energon leaking from the wound. His optics were offline, gray husks where the former eccentric blue used to be. When Ratchet tugged on his arm slightly, Jack, Miko and Raf spilled out, and Ratchet didn't need to check them over to see if they were dead. </p>
<p>	He already knew. </p>
<p>	Ratchet looked up at Bulkhead to tell him what he likely already knew as well, but Bulkhead's optics were dark now too, they had turned offline during the time it had taken Ratchet to pull Wheeljack from the rubble. </p>
<p>	"No, no please…" Ratchet gave a choked sob and let Wheeljack fall out of his grasp, slipping to the floor and staying in place, looking almost like he was in recharge. Miko, Jack and Raf awkwardly laid around him. Bulkhead was still there, his body still making a tent between the rubble and the ground. </p>
<p>	Ratchet pushed himself back to his pedes and took a step back, before he immediently tripped on something and landed on his back with a loud thud. </p>
<p>	Ratchet shook his head and looked up to see what had tripped him, only to sob again and he let the tears fall freely now. </p>
<p>Bumblebee was laying on the ground, his optics burned out and his form already starting to gray. Slashes and wounds traced all over his body, and Ratchet saw his throat was once again torn out, the scrapes on the side of his throat unmistakably another attempt to rip out of his voice box. </p>
<p>	Ratchet turned to look away, only to be met with another scene. </p>
<p>	Smokescreen and Arcee were laying a few feet away, Smokescreen's lower half caught beneath several layers of rubble, and if the energon pooling around his body was anything to go by, his lower half was utterly crushed. He was reaching out for Arcee, who was trapped under Arachnid's webbing. </p>
<p>	Energon was pooling out from the webbing, and Ratchet didn't need to guess where it was coming from, given who clearly had attacked her. Arcee's optics were closed, but her one servo was still outstretched, one of her digits just barely missing Smokescreen's. </p>
<p>	"No…please stop…" Ratchet grabbed his head between his hands and knelt down, surrounded by the bodies of the people he cared most about. </p>
<p>	"Ratchet…" Ratchet's head shot up when he recognized the voice. Slowly, ever so slowly, he turned and was met with exactly the scene he expected. </p>
<p>There lay Optimus, crushed beneath piles upon piles of rubble, the only thing visible from it was his head peaking through a hole and one servo outstretched as if he had attempted to claw his way out. "Ratchet, run…" </p>
<p>	Ratchet tried to move closer to his leader, tears streaming down his face. "I don't care, Optimus, please don't make me leave you too…" Ratchet pleaded, coming as close as he could to Optimus. He grabbed onto Optimus's servo and gave a choked sob when he felt Optimus barely squeeze back. "Optimus, I can't loose you…" </p>
<p>	"Pitiful." Ratchet whirled around and narrowed his optics when he saw Megatron standing there, the Dark Star Saber in one servo, glowing dramatically against the contrast of the flames. A smirk danced on his lips and it only grew wider as Ratchet tried to raise himself to his full height. </p>
<p>	"I'm surprised you're the last one to die, Ratchet, but no matter." Megatron lifted the sword high, and Ratchet made no move to stop him, merely glaring into Megatron's optics. "It can be easily arranged you join them." </p>
<p>	"Do your worst, Megatron." Ratchet bowed his head and waited for the killing blow to come. "Long live the Primes." </p>
<p>	But the blow never came. </p>
<p>	Ratchet's optics snapped open and he launched himself upwards, and he barely had time to cover his mouth with his blanket to muffle his scream. He looked madly around the room, never more happy in his life to see the boring walls of his tiny room in the new base, or feel the softness of his too thin blanket against his plating. </p>
<p>	Ratchet let a sigh escape his lips before he heard jubilant cries coming from another room. </p>
<p>	'Oh my Primus…' The memories of his most recent nightmare came flooding back, from Mooncharger to Bumblebee to seeing all of his most beloved companions dead before him. He leapt out of bed and opened the door to his room as he began to follow the source of the yelling. </p>
<p>	The door to Wheeljack and Bulkhead's shared berth room opened easily and Ratchet stepped inside, and he could not stop the wave of relief that filled his spark at the sight of the two chaotic mechs. </p>
<p>	Wheeljack was in his bed, but he was sitting up and trying to beat Miko at the video game they were playing. A while ago, Wheeljack had built large game controls for the Autobots, so now everyone could challenge Miko to the racing game she claimed she was the best at. </p>
<p>	Miko was very much <i>alive</i>, her eyes wide and glued to the TV they'd slipped into Bulkhead and Wheeljack's room. Occasionally she lifted her hand and scooped popcorn by the fistful into her mouth, but her gaze never left the screen. </p>
<p>	Beside her, Jack was telling her to move faster, and he slowly began rising from his spot on the berth, his voice getting louder as it became obvious that Miko was going to loose this round. </p>
<p>	Bulkhead was standing beside his boyfriend and human charge, edging them both on. His optics were bright with excitement and he let out another jubilant holler as Wheeljack crossed the finish line first and congratulated his victory with a kiss, but he was quick to console Miko for her loss. Jack snatched the controller from her and said something about how he was going to do this right right way. </p>
<p>	Both mechs were undamaged, their optics bright and their face plates happy. Wheeljack had no hole in his chest where his spark should have been. Bulkhead's legs weren't crushed and his plating wasn't burning through. All four beings looked up in surprise when they noticed Ratchet was in the room. </p>
<p>	"Sorry to wake you up, Doc, Miko over here is getting her little butt beat-" Wheeljack started but Ratchet interrupted him. </p>
<p>	"It's fine, I don't mind." Ratchet realized he hadn't tested how shaky his voice would be, and he wasn't surprised when his voice nearly cracked from the tears he was still struggling to hold back. Ratchet walked right up beside Wheeljack, placing one servo on his shoulder and the other on Bulkhead's shoulder. "I don't mind, it's fine." </p>
<p>	Wheeljack hesitated, his grip on his controller tightening slightly. "Doc, it's really okay, you don't hafta lie, I know we were bein'-" </p>
<p>	"Please, Wheeljack, it's fine." Ratchet asked again, hoping his optics would say all the things he didn't want to out loud. Wheeljack either didn't see them or got the hint, but he offered Ratchet a small nod. Bulkhead was a little more eager to respond with a grin of his own, his face plates bright and happy at the fact that Ratchet hadn't thrown a wrench at them yet. </p>
<p>	"So, you're <i>not<i> gonna scream that we woke you up at ass o' clock at night?" Miko asked, clearly confused. </i></i></p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	"That's a first." Jack pointed out, raising an eyebrow. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet waved them and tried to act nonchalant and he pulled his field closer to him to prevent either Bulkhead or Wheeljack from reading it. "No, I'm not going to yell. Just tell me who wins next round, I call winner." </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Miko's eyes lit up at that and she grabbed the controller back from Jack. "You're on, Doc Bot! Bulk! Play me." Miko demanded, and Wheeljack passed the controlled to his boyfriend, a knowing look on his face plates. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet took an extra moment to look at the two mechs and the small humans, feeling a strange emotion fill up in his spark. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>He realized he was being tuned out as the next round of the racing game started, so he excused himself and walked out of the berth room, closing the door behind him. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet began to wander, quietly humming to himself as he approached Smokescreen's room. He carefully opened it, his optics and the light of the hallway the only light in the dim room. He made out both Smokescreen and Arcee's sleeping forms in the berth, cuddled together under their blanket. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet breathed another sigh of relief, deciding he didn't need to wake either of them - unless he wanted to face the wrath of Arcee before she had her morning rations, which was a big no - and he closed the door before he moved onto the next one. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ultra Magnus's room was locked, but not to his surprise. Ratchet could see under the doorway that the light was on and he could hear the sounds of the commander grumbling to himself and the flipping of pages. Ultra Magnus had been trying to learn Earth terminology and slang since he had arrived here several months ago. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet wasn't surprised as he heard Ultra Magnus say determinedly, "The cat is out of the bag, does not imply there is an actual cat or a bag. It just means the secret has been revealed." Ratchet smiled and moved on. "Unless there really <i>is</i> a cat and it is out of the bag, then it's just a statement of fact, not a turn of phrase." </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	The next berth room Ratchet arrived to was Bumblebee's. It was cracked open just slightly to let a little light in. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet had to push down a laugh that would have likely come out as a sob. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	No matter how battle hardened Bumblebee was, he still hated the dark. Ratchet didn't want to think about how it likely had some deeper psychological reasoning behind it, and chose to think that if Bumblebee had been allowed it act his age, he would have still left the door open just a little bit. Ratchet peered in and again, almost laughed again when he saw Bumblebee's sleeping form. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	The scout was spread across the berth like a sea creature Jack had told them about, a starfish or something like that. Bumblebee's head was hanging off the berth, threatening to fall off, but Ratchet knew that was how he preferred to sleep. His small snores sounded like little beeps coming from his voice box, and Ratchet tried to force down the tears that threatened to spill over. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet smiled softly as he saw Raf's sleeping form laid out across Bumblebee's pillow, a small blanket draped over his sleeping form. His glasses were off and on Bumblebee's bedside table, and he was snoring softly. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	'Though the medic…could have done better…' He had told Raf, and he lived by those words. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	He left Bumblebee's room after that, leaving the door how he had found it. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	When he reached Optimus's room, he wasn't surprised to see the leader had opened it, and said leader was sitting on his berth with two cubes of energon in his servos, like he was waiting for Ratchet. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	He probably was. This wasn't the first time Ratchet had a nightmare so real he had to check on everyone just to make sure they were still alive. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet smiled as he sat down next to Optimus. "You know me too well, old friend." Ratchet smiled and graciously accepted the energon. Optimus gave him a small smile back. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	"You do follow a pattern, old friend." Optimus turned his gaze to the still opened door, out towards the hallway. "Though you did take your time tonight." </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet sheepishly scratched his elbow. "Wheeljack and Miko were racing extremely loudly, and after I checked on them I had to check on everyone else to make sure they weren't woken up." Ratchet defended, even though they both knew that wasn't the real reason. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Optimus gave him a tender smile and reached out to pat Ratchet on the back. Ratchet relaxed under the touch, Optimus's relaxing field mixing with his. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	"You know they mean well and are only enjoying themselves." Ratchet grunted his agreement but gave no verbal response. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Silence stretched on for a few moments as the two old friends sipped at their energon.  </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	"Do you wish to talk about it, old friend?" Optimus asked slowly, giving Ratchet the invitation to stop him at any time. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Images from the nightmare flashed in Ratchet's mind again, the emotions of helplessness and fear and anger flashed in his spark and by extension his field before he pushed them down. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	"Not today, please." He said after a moment. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Optimus gave a respectful nod and took another swig of his energon, his soft smile bright. He had likely felt what Ratchet had just expressed without words but if anyone was going to give him the space he needed, it was Optimus. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	They sat in silence for a long time, sipping their energon before they fell into easy conversation instigated by Optimus, and Ratchet was grateful for the distraction of his own mind. They talked about old, funny stories they hadn't thought of in some time, ranging from their Cybertron days or when they first arrived on Earth when they had accidentally revealed themselves to a human and had to convince it they were giant robots for a new movie being produced. Somehow, it had worked. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>They talked about the Old Council and what sort of government they would have liked to see happen on Cybertron when they won the war, how they would raise their planet from the ashes now that there was no Omega Lock to revive it with. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	After some casual conversation, Ratchet opened up about his dream slightly, only mentioning who he saw and not the circumstances he saw them in. Ratchet noticed how Optimus's optics narrowed at the mention of Pharma - Optimus had never liked him very much either - but the Prime didn't comment on it, and let Ratchet share whatever he was comfortable with. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	After what felt like only a few moments, Ratchet checked his inner clock and determined it was 4:09, three hours after he had checked on all his teammates. "I should get back to recharge, Optimus. We need to be at the top of our game if we are to continue this fight." </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Optimus nodded before he stood up anyway, his optics still soft.  </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	"I should be getting up as well, morning patrol needs to be done." Optimus said, letting Ratchet step out of the berth room first. "Get some rest, old friend."</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet gave a nod of gratitude and they walked side by side until they reached Wheeljack and Bulkhead's berth room, which was surprisingly quiet. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	"Thank you, Optimus." He said, giving a nod of gratitude and a thankful smile. Optimus smiled back before he turned and kept walking, and soon Ratchet heard the sound of his jet pack firing up. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet smiled and opened the door to Wheeljack and Bulkhead's berth room and carefully peered inside. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	He was surprised to see Bulkhead and Wheeljack in recharge, the two of them cuddled together. Wheeljack was sprawled over Bulkhead's chest, Bulkhead's servo resting in between his winglets. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	A brief image flashed in his mind of the two of them huddled together under the tent Bulkhead made between himself and the ceiling rubble, but he quickly pushed it down. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	He noticed where Miko and Jack were sleeping on the small berth attachment; Miko practically laying sideways on top of Jack while the teenage boy was laying in a small fetal position. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet carefully crept out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	The medic trudged back into his room before he fell onto his bed with a huff, pulling his blanket up around him. He closed his optics, trying to think back on all of the stories he and Optimus had talked about. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	The excitement he felt when he found out he passed the test to become a medic on Cybertron. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	His pride when he entered his job on the first day, his excitement and slight resentment when he met his fellow new medics, Knock Out and First Aid and his nervousness when he learned he would be working alongside legends like Pharma and Shockwave. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet remembered his triumph when he completed his first solo surgery, saving a mech from a tumor he had found during a ride along surgery with Pharma. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet ignored most of the war, but he did dwell on the memory of Bumblebee waking up and thanking him, or when he managed to pull off miracles time and again, saving mechs and femmes that should have died. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet smiled as he felt himself drifting closer and closer into recharge as he remembered when he and the rest of the team had first arrived on Earth when Bulkhead had taken out an entire line of telephone poles and Fowler had to cover up the whole incident. That was how they met Fowler, actually. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Ratchet smiled wider as he remembered the human children he had come to love: Jack with his calm and quiet attitude, with Miko and her loud, obnoxious attitude that somehow managed to both ruin and make his day, and Raf's embarrassed smile when he learned a new Cybertronian term or when Ratchet brought him onto his shoulder to see better. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>	Only focusing on the good memories, Ratchet drifted into a sweet, dreamless recharge.</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The Cybertronian word for "thank you" at the beginning of the chapter I just made up, so I am sorry if there really is a word for "thank you" and I just don't know it. And I'm sorry if Pharma seems a little OC ish, I've only read the comics once and this is the first time I've ever written about him or with him. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and I hope you have a great day!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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